via Lookcatalog1. Identity Swapping Twins “My grandfather had an identical twin brother. shall refer to grandfather as A and twin as B. Brother A got drafted into WWII, brother B didn’t so he pretended to be A to take A’s better job. Brother A returns from war and brother B’s still pretending to be him, even…
Confession can be good for the soul, and it’s also fun. I’m inspired by this post. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, and I’ve gotten into a fair deal of trouble. Here’s my list:
1. I’ve slept with three married men. All of them were already in the middle of divorces, and we had to sneak around. What does that say about me? Not sure. I’m in a more conventional relationship now.
2. When I was 14 or 15, I punched by brother for kicking my mom. We told my dad he fell.
3. During college, I blamed a week of absences on my roommate’s mono.
4. I dumped my boyfriend of a year so I could hook up with a super-hot track star for a night. Hey, at least I broke up with him first.
5. A few years ago, I invited a porn star to give a lecture on campus.
6. Twice in my career as a teacher, I slept through my class and blamed it on the flu. Everyone believed me, because otherwise I’m awesome.
7. Once, I had a date drop me off at a bar to meet another date. We got drunk and slept together, then I woke up to go teach in my same outfit from that night.
8. I’ve never dated any of my students. However, I did date a friend’s student for about a month. He was 19. I was 23. It wasn’t a very good idea.
9. At an airport, I flipped off an entire hotel shuttle full of pilots and screamed “Fuck you!” because it was the last one and they’d taken up all the room. My flight had been cancelled. I didn’t want to pay for a cab. It was midnight, and my re-booked flight boarded at 6 am, so I slept in the airport.
10. At a college party, I once let someone I wasn’t attracted to stroke my legs and crotch for almost an hour because I was drunk and thought it made me look cool. Then I let him drive me home. Things got weird. I had to ask him to pull over, and I wound up walking the last couple of blocks home. Stupid! I learned my lesson the hard way.
11. I once yelled at my loud upstairs neighbors and threw a shoe at the ceiling, knocking a giant hole in it. I was embarrassed, and didn’t want to tell my landlord. So I bought some spackle and spent a week teaching myself how to repair a gash in drywall. Then I tried to find the right paint for my apartment. The paint I bought didn’t quite match, so I wound up painting the whole ceiling. All because I didn’t want to admit my anger management issues.