Succubi used to frequent my bedroom on the weekends. Actually, not just succubi. Werewolves. Vampires. Gargoyles. Heavily tattooed crime lords from the future. Aliens. Daleks. One time, a cylon.
Don’t worry, I made love with regular guys too. Some nights I went exploring BDSM dungeons and orgy palaces. Others I worked as a stripper or a prostitute in cyberpunk sims. I liked punishment. Gangs of guys and girls tied me up, strapped me to metallic crosses and lashed me, even stalked me down dark alleys. I loved danger role plays. Not rape. Let’s call it unplanned rough sex with a stranger behind a dumpster.
I’ve visited dozens of fetish realms. One night, I went to a potty party and watched avatars pee on each other for pleasure. Very realistic. Fun. Highly recommended.
My virtual sex history makes me blush sometimes. It even embarrassed me for a while. I never talked about it with my friends, anticipating their judgment. My parents would probably die of shame.
Popular culture still perpetuates a myth that online sex only provides a last ditch option for losers doomed to the dark regions of their moms’ basements.
As it turns out, plenty of “normal” people have virtual sex. Even married couples. [Gasp.] Reasons to try virtual intercourse abound. It offers safe places to explore your sexual identity, experiment with multiple partners, try anything you want without anxiety. I’ve even learned about different positions and tried virtual versions of real toys through online interaction and chat. All with a surprising degree of comfort and security. Think about it. Nobody knows your real name, age, gender, or occupation. For many users, your Real Life identity doesn’t matter at all. They care about your virtual presence. No STDs, no stalkers posing any physical threat. (Although harassment and assault can still happen in SL, it’s easier to avoid and report.) The kind of sex you can have in online environments like Second Life can even transcend traditional sex.
Some of my best orgasms have come after an hour of intense roleplay. The only problem is that sometimes it’s hard to keep typing every time the guy goes, “Baby, you there? You there? Hello?” Yeah, I’m here. My hands are a little busy. K?
I’m far from alone. It turns out that Second Life is becoming a common extension of regular life for people, a highly sensual one, even if you’re already in a relationship. Virtual sexuality has even become a topic of interest among academics the past few years. A 2012 study by Ashley John Craft in Archives of Sexual Behavior found the following by surveying 235 Second Life users:
- Many engage in online sexual relationships with multiple partners;
- They view SL as a safe place to experiment with different sexual practices like bondage;
- A majority (65%) have SL sex while dating someone offline, or may be married.
- Male and Female SL users are equally likely to have an offline partner.
Second Lifers can form strong emotional bonds with their partners online, and they describe sex as pleasurable–just as pleasurable as real sex in some cases.
Another study of more than 200 Second Lifers by Richard Gilbert, Monique Gonzalez, and Nora Murphy in Psychology & Sexuality found that anywhere from 70 to 98 percent of users engage in ordinary sexual practices like erotic kissing, oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, and masturbation. Sixty-eight percent had experienced a RL orgasm from SL sex. Lower ratios, usually around half, had engaged in bondage and group sex. Only 11 percent had paid someone money for sex. What a shame.
I’ve gone far beyond these quaint peeps. If you can name it, I’ve probably tried it. For example, I’ve been probed by aliens. God bless them.
Hop on the Second Life Market place and search for anything you can imagine and you’ll find it. If you want to build a Bat Sex Cave and go at it with Catwoman for a night, there’s nothing stopping you. Poseballs and animations make everything super easy once you’ve figured out the basics.
I’m open to anything except for age play, because that’s just creepy. One time a toddler did try to hire me for a night while I was role-playing as a high end prostitute. I told him to leave.
I’m also not especially interested in turning Saw IV into a porno, but you can with about $4,000 in Linden (about $15 U.S., I think.)
Romance unfolds at a quicker pace online. You can usually get into a girl’s pants in about an hour—as long as you’re charming and funny.
Of course, some aspects of RL remain in play. For example, I prefer to go on dates before sex. Clubbing, fine dining, drinks, a hike, a dip in a pool, a ride on a space ship. Don’t look at me like that. Second Life dating can be fun as hell. It involves joking and flirting and exploring all the virtual landscapes. An SL date might last 30 minutes. Roleplay might last up to an hour. Some Second Lifers go even longer.
So what drew me to Second Life? Heartbreak. I was dumped by the love of my life a few years ago, and just wasn’t up for a big return to the dating pool. I wanted low stakes social interactions. Before then, I’d seen one or two people on Second Life and judged them as nerds. It only took one night to change my mind. A few months of bliss followed. I didn’t become an addict like I’d feared from Oprah’s documentary on Second Life. Instead I slowly recovered, probably skipped over some unhealthy rebound relationships, and then returned to actual dating when I was ready. My time on Second Life was actually a nice period of personal reflection and self-discovery–with a helluva lot of vampire sex mixed in.
Interesting fact: Second Life sex isn’t monogamous, which I know is shocking, ya’ll. According to Gilbert et al.’s study, SL users have had sex with more than five partners, and 20 percent report sex with more than 20 different partners. Early on in my current relationship, I did occasionally hit up SL when I needed to unwind. Nowadays I don’t feel much of a need. Maybe I’m writing this post out of nostalgia.
So, guys, you want to bang an SL babe? Here’s how: Successful guys hit on an SL babe much the way they do in RL. Be polite. Wear nice clothes, look good. Make interesting conversation, tell jokes, and give compliments. Trust me, looking good in SL takes no less effort than it does in RL. A number of guys want to coast with the bare minimum. Seriously, throw down $15 and get yourself a nice avatar, a small but smart wardrobe, and some decent hair.
Whatever you do, please don’t come up to me naked with a newbie avatar, or your CGI dick flopping around, and start a private chat by saying, “The sex now?” That nonsense happens dozens of times every night. In RL, I’d call the cops on these jokers, but online I ignore them.